What children need.

Sorry this blog has been dead lately – I’ve been in Christmas Pageant Admin Hell, otherwise known as “sorting out the cast list and making sure everyone has a costume.”

Anyway, I’ve been to a few seminars over the last few weeks and read a few letters from the Diocese, and it’s gotten me thinking, which has led to the following list:

What do children need to grow in faith?

Feel free to add your own ideas.  This list is in no particular order.

1.       To feel that they belong, are known, and are welcomed.

2.       Storytelling that is active and engaging.

3.       Repetition.  Both in story and song and in traditions.  When a child can enter into a festival again and again, year after year, and come to know it in all its layers through the repetition of hallowed traditions, that is a powerful tool for learning about the faith and for experiencing God’s presence.

4.       Challenging texts that they may not understand completely, but which they know and can come to understand.

5.       Christianity proclaimed joyfully and unblushingly as good news – but with its historic (and current) sins and prejudices acknowledged when the children become old enough to know about them and demand accountability.

6.       Creativity in responding to stories.

7.       A chance to be recognised in the church community not just as recipients of ministry but as leaders who can minister to others.

8.       A sense of ownership of the church space – to be allowed to move around it, discover it, touch it, and be present in it, often outside of Sunday mornings.  I once said you never feel you really belong to a church until you find yourself setting up chairs for something – then you know you’ve arrived and become part of the community.  For children, that sense of ownership can be found in rehearsals in the church space, special events like Messy Church on a weekend when the church is theirs and theirs alone, participating in a choir concert in the church, and so on.

9.       Deliberate silliness, when liturgically appropriate.  Skits on Shrove Tuesday, patronal festival picnics, getting the vicar to dress up in something silly at a Twelfth Night Party, and so on.  Not used to trivialise solemn joy, but to elevate the silly seasons.

10.   Allegories.  With a few caveats – the allegories must not beat them over the head with their meaning, and they must stand on their own as stories, not just as alternative vehicles for the Christian story.  A few examples (mostly stolen from my mother) – The Red Balloon, The Selfish Giant, The Flower of Life, Pilgrim’s Progress, the Narnia chronicles.

11.   Time off, within the church community, to foster friendships with other children.  This ties in with number one.  Breaks in Christmas pageant rehearsals are important – they give children a chance to bond with one another and create real friendships at church.  This builds community.

12.   To be taken seriously.

13.   To be listened to.

Storytelling

This cartoon, I think almost accidentally, gets exactly to the heart of how to make faith a living thing for children - stimulate their imaginations.  I've been reading Gerard Jones' Killing Monsters: why children need fantasy, superheroes, and make-believe violence, and the author stresses over and over that children use stories to work through issues of power and aggression and to have mastery over these concepts.  By identifying with Superman, a powerless child feels powerful and confident - by working through feelings of anger, rage, or hatred in make-believe, a child learns that they control these feelings, rather than are controlled by them.

The story of Moses is the story of the weak and powerless triumphing over both more powerful people and the powerful forces of nature.  Moses is enslaved and afraid when God first speaks to him - "how on Earth is Pharaoh going to listen to ME?"  If we are doing our job, children will identify with him.  They will feel his fear in the face of Pharaoh.  They will fear his hope against hope when Pharaoh gives in.  They will feel his panic at the shore of the Red Sea - all these people in your charge, and Pharaoh's Army behind you!  All these lives for you to save!  It is at this moment that Moses, with God's help, tears off his Clark Kent persona and becomes Superman - if we are doing our job, this moment is as thrilling as any in a comic book or a TV show, any in a fairy tale or Disney movie.  The third-act reveal, the deus ex machina, is a cliche for a reason - it works.  Just when everything seems lost, a hidden power is unleashed and the hero is triumphant.

Let your kids enjoy the chase scenes, the special effects, the more Hollywood-esque aspects of the Bible.  That's what makes it thrilling.  That's what makes kids identify with it.  That's what makes it meaningful to them.

In this cartoon, the pastor looks unimpressed.  He should be jumping for joy - he's gotten through to that kid, and that kid has claimed the stories of the faith as his own.  That's a victory!  It's what we're here for!